Well I'm guessing all of you heard about me winning the nobel peace prize. Pretty neat, huh? I used the prize money to buy myself this awesome new car! It's just my way of helping the world with the money. It's a hummer.
So you're probably wondering what I've been up to lately. My latest work has been in defending innocent Canadians from the terrifying menace of baby seal attacks. A few months ago I departed with a group of vigilantes armed only with clubs. We marched northwards into the deadly unknown. The other day, one of my comrades almost had his foot rubbed by a baby seal. Luckily, I drew my club in time. Nightmares of the incident will haunt me for years to come.
I've also been protecting the Japanese coastline from the whale invasion. We humans are currently winning the war against whales and dolphins, but this could quickly change. The best we can do now is dream of a tomorrow where large marine mammals are extinct.
